Albert Meltzer's Funeral, Lewisham Crematorium

Albert Meltzer's Funeral, Lewisham Crematorium

"12:00 pm, May 24, 1996: Lewisham Crematorium. Albert’s eulogy was delivered by Black Flag cartoonist and Sidney Street historian Philip Ruff, followed by stand-up comedian Noel James and Marlene Dietrich’s rendition of ‘See What the Boys in the Back Room Will Have’ and ‘Buddy Can You Spare a Dime’ movingly sung by David Campbell. Last words were from myself. Albert’s instructions to me (as one of his executors) was that he wanted ‘...to die in dignity, but my passing celebrated with jollity’, and that he wanted a stand-up comedian telling amusing anecdotes (which he did), and the coffin to slide into the incinerator to the sound of Marlene Dietrich. ‘If the booze-up can begin right away, so much the better, and with a bit of luck the crematorium will never be gloomy again. Anyone mourning should be denounced as the representative of a credit card company and thrown out on their ear. Snowballs if in season (tomatoes if not) can be thrown at abyone uttering even worthy cliches like ‘the struggle goes on’ and should anyone of a religious mind offer pieces of abstract consolation they should be prepared to dodge pieces of concrete confirmation.’"

Stuart Christie

24 May, 1996